3 Frameworks for Developing Greater Resilience
As the emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 AD, Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful man in the world for 19 years. He ordered armies into war and was ravaged by the death of his wife and closest colleagues, but found solace in the blank pages of his private journal. Hot frustrations were extracted from his mind and deposited onto the page, where, in physical form, they could be dissected with a cool eye. Two thousand years later, long after his bones have turned to dust, his thoughts have remained as fresh and vibrant as ever in a collection of his journals called Meditations.
Meditations is one of the most important texts in stoicism. Although it can be considered a philosophy, stoicism provides extremely practical, rugged frameworks for developing resilience; as rock climbers rely upon a safety harness, I have relied on these frameworks to navigate times of adversity and challenge. The intent of this article is to share 3 techniques that I have found particularly helpful:
- Know your values
- Diversify your identity
- Practice poverty
Values:
For most of our lives, we’ve been taught to measure ourselves by external metrics of success: grades in school, the prestige of a career, the size of our house or the brand of our car. Most of the angst in my life has stemmed from comparing myself to others against these metrics and coming up short.
Stoicism encourages a different path.
Success is measured not by performance against an external metric, but by our ability to develop an internal set of values and live by them everyday, regardless of circumstance.
A value is something that is important to you, that can be achieved by you, on a daily basis, without a stamp of validation from anybody else. For example, learning and excellence are values; grades on a test and a promotion at work are forms of external validation. As an anchor provides stability to a ship in choppy waters, a solid core of values can keep us grounded when the waves of life get rough.
The focus on values is embedded inside another core principle of stoicism: to focus exclusively on what we can control. If an action is within your control, then act. If an action is not within your control, then waste no energy on it. By their very nature, values are within our control. By its very nature, external validation is not.
Diversification:
One of the main principles in investing is diversification of assets across different asset classes. In theory, a diversified portfolio lowers risk because reductions in one asset class can be offset by gains in another as the world changes.
The same principle applies for identity. If our entire self-image is tied to a job, a layoff is devastating; if it’s infused in a relationship, a breakup can be debilitating. But if we glean meaning from multiple areas of life, setbacks in one area can be balanced by advancements in another, as a slump in stocks can be neutralized by boost in bonds.
One of my mentors taught me a practical tip to implement this principle — always set and chase after goals in 3 areas: body, career, and relationships.
“If life goes to hell in one of these areas, at least you have two others that you can keep on track,” he said, a statement that is simple to understand, difficult to execute, and profoundly effective at improving resilience.
The logic of diversification applies in building a resilient portfolio, and it also helps build a resilient identity.
Practice Poverty:
Among the most toxic fears of a Roman aristocrat was to be stripped of their material wealth and be forced to live on the streets. Seneca, who was another Stoic thinker, had an antidote, summarized below:
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’”
Seneca’s insight is that our fears are much worse in our minds than in reality. In the mind, a mouse can cast the shadow of a lion; in the real world, a mouse is only ever a mouse.
While we may not want to literally practice homelessness, as Seneca advised, there is still value in writing down our fears, articulating the specific worst case scenario, and developing a concrete action plan on what we will do if that worst case scenario occurs.
I have found that when I perform this exercise, my fear was tied not to the worst case scenario itself, but rooted in my uncertainty about my next steps. As soon as the next steps are identified, the shadowy fear in the mind reveals itself to be nothing more than a manageable mouse.
Conclusion:
Marcus Aurelius never intended for his journals to be published. He wrote them for himself as a means of working through setbacks and frustration, day after day, for 19 years. But as I read Meditations, I could sense a real generosity in his words and character, and think he would be pleased that his contribution to stoicism has helped so many develop greater resilience by (1) building strong internal values, (2) diversifying their identities, and (3) practicing the worst case scenario.
These frameworks have been sturdy and strong for me in the past, and I know that they will continue to be sturdy and strong in the future. After all, there aren’t too many safety harnesses that have endured for more than two thousand years.
